MY JOURNEY TO SELF PUBLISHING

When I started Memories and Lies, it was a completely different book with only vague similarities to what it became. It was one novel about two sisters and the fall out of mental illness, and the far-reaching effects it can have. In some way, that is still the underlying message in this series, but in a different way.

I have wanted to be a writer as far back as the third and fourth grade. I wrote my first attempt at a novel in the fourth grade and by sixth grade had completed a 260-page, handwritten book that eventually was lost. I think sometimes that I would like to re-write it because it was a good story with a lot of Nicholas Sparks undertones (but before I had any idea who Nicholas sparks was.)

I got the idea for Memories and Lies when I was seventeen or eighteen and was leaning toward the title, My Sisters Keeper. But like many others, my life got hectic and I pushed my writing aside until I was in my thirties. I focused on work, marriage and raising kids. But my life was missing something without writing. I thought about it constantly and dreamed of it. Finally, I decided it was time and I worked tirelessly on another novel, that I am deeply in love with, but was turning into a novel of epic proportions.  Then Memories and Lies came into my mind after a dream that I had about the person who inspired Adam. I picked up my old notes and the wheels began turning in my head and I was so excited. I wrote the first draft in a few months. The scenes played out in my head and I even surprised myself with twists.

Three-quarters of the way through, it became obvious that I would need a second book. From there the editing started and it was overwhelming for me at moments. I learned to take criticism and actually look forward to it. I take criticism better than compliments because of some issues that I have. Which lead to paranoid depression and severe feelings of worthlessness. So I pushed the finished, three edits in manuscript, to the side. But I continued moving forward because the story was too important to me. I finished the second book in the series which led me down a lot of emotional twists and turns. It became very personal to me as I was dealing with a lot of issues. Many scenes triggered me and sent me into panic attacks and depression, but I let it pass and continued onto the third and final book in the series. Pulling on more of my own experiences and feelings, the story continued to grow more personal and I became more passionate and driven. One night a scene from book three came from the darkness in my mind and I wrote it in a distant frenzy to get it out. Once it was done and I read it, I was unable to move forward. I slipped into an episode and have been slow to get back to the last few chapters of book three.

That being said, three years after finishing the first book, I built up the courage to complete my dream and self-publish it. I worked my ass off and I am proud of it. Today, I got my proof copy in the mail and holding that book in my hand and realizing a twenty-year-old dream was a joy that I can not explain. I feel like I know myself better and I hope that other people will find my books and in some way relate to and draw strength from Karen and her journey.

Book two, Truth and Consequences, should be ready for publishing by the end of summer.

Book three, Life and Death, will be available by winter.

Thank you for your time,

S.M Starley

I waited a long time for this and it was worth it!